As I was preparing for Ironman Florida, I decided I should do something to make my bike standout. Since I designed and trademarked the TRI-OKC logo, I decided to adapt it to my wheel set. I got a friend at a local sign shop to cut the vinyl on his machine and help me apply it.
This is the Family Birthday Invitation for August, 2005.
The party was at the farm, so the picture is one I took at the farm looking out over one of the ponds with the sun reflecting on the water. I converted the image to B&W and then overlaid the text in color so it would pop. The top line told whose birthdays we were celebrating and were designed to look like fishing bobbers floating on the water, since the wording for my mother omitted her age and instead simply indicating that she was “still afloat”. The other information was in a blue-green below to tie into the water concept.
Dreamscapes Logo
Landrunners Logo
I often carry my camera around, and I took these photos while out on the family farm one August morning. The originals are in color and not nearly as contrasty. I manipulated the images in Photoshop.
I have a brother and a sister. I have 6 kids. My brother has 6 kids. My sister has 8 kids. We have several Grandparents, an uncle and some family friends that are really more family than friend.
That is almost 40 people having birthdays, which means several a month, which means it is impossible to have a party for each and have the extended family actually participate. So…
We have one family birthday party each month and celebrate all the birthdays that month together at one time. We trade off who does the party and everyone has a great time and gets their birthday celebrated by everyone.
I often do the invites for these monthly parties, as well as others, so I am putting them here.
Providence Hall Logo
5/8/2017
Systems Thinking
Just in case you haven’t heard. Eliud Kipchoge ran 2:00:25 for the marathon distance on the Formula One track in Monza, Italy early Saturday morning (very late Friday night here in Oklahoma.) And yes, I stayed up and watched a bunch of guys run 15+ laps around a race track for, unfortunately, a little over 2 hours. I’ll come back to this.
I have been reading a lot lately about design. Aesthetic design, design thinking, functional design. It seems to me that design is very closely related to operations, with just slight modifications to the questions being asked, mainly exchanging processes for objects.
Then I ran across an article that solidified this for me:
https://www.fastcodesign.com/90112320/design-thinking-needs-to-think-bigger
Steve Vassallo is general partner at Foundation Capital which boasts investments in an impressive list of companies including kik and NETFLIX. His article calls for a shift in design from narrow element oriented “design thinking” to wide process oriented “systems thinking.”
Systems thinking.
We know that term because it’s at the heart of a book we are reading: The Fifth Discipline, by Peter Senge. I think Steve Vassallo read Peter’s book too.
Steve says, “In the inextricably connected world we live in, it’s no longer possible or wise to solve for the part without due consideration of the sum of the parts.” Later he says, “you either design the system or you get designed by the system.”
In 1948, Garman Oscar Kimmell was designing the system. His product ideas and the subsequent execution of those ideas was very “systems” thinking. He was considering the overall impact of his design on the whole system of oil & gas production. He also sought to understand how Kimray’s “behavior” as a company impacted the system of Oklahoma City and the lives it directly or indirectly touched.
Today, the world we live in is much more complex than it was in 1948. Kimray as a company is also much more complex. “The more complex an organism is,” says artist and teacher Adam Wolpert, “the more capable it becomes. And the more capable it is, the more it can address challenges and seize opportunities. The downside of that is, the more complex it becomes, the more vulnerable it becomes.”
Like those guys running around that track in Italy. If the team at Nike had taken a design thinking approach, the race might have been run in much cooler weather:
“Early May in Monza typically produces overnight lows of about 54° F. That is outside the range of 45° to 50° F the scientists think is optimal (my PR marathon was 37° at the start and 41° at the finish and I thought it was perfect).
Race day conformed to the averages, with a starting temperature of 52° F that drifted up toward 54° F as the race progressed. Did this impact Kipchoge’s performance? Much of the research on thermoregulation and optimal temperature ranges has been performed on subjects who don’t look a lot like Eliud Kipchoge. Perhaps the long-limbed, rail-thin Kipchoge (I’ve never been called “rail-thin”) stays cooler than your typical U.S. college student volunteering for physiology studies.
Warmer temperatures also enhance the rate of chemical reactions in the body, possibly speeding up the processing of oxygen and fuel in the muscles, so cooler weather involves trade-offs. And, perhaps most important of all, many elite East African runners hate the cold and feel deeply uncomfortable in it—not the mental state you want at the start of a race.” abridged from this article with my comments in ()’s
You must look at the whole system and whole systems are complex. Complex = Vulnerable.
This is the crux. The ability to seize opportunities carries the risk of being vulnerable from internal failures. We have enormous potential before us. We also have enormous risk. We can make mistakes, but we can’t continually “think” wrong. We need to be about designing the system. We need to understand not just what happened and when, but how and why these things happened.
Systems thinking can be difficult because we are so used to focusing on discrete problems. Worse, we often find our value in the “things” we create in our space and in continuance of our departmental or personal goals. Systems thinking requires us to invest in the “whole” regardless of what “part” is ours.
Christ had a decidedly systems thinking approach. In Corinthians, Romans and Ephesians (just to name a few) we are reminded that each of us is part of a larger system, that none of us is more important or more necessary, and that often those that seem to be weaker are in fact indispensable. The “system” or “body” is only able to be healthy if the parts are healthy.
I read an interesting paper on The Systems Approach: A Biblical Integration. The views in the paper are not necessarily my views, but I find it compelling.
All of that to say, you have a challenge as a leader to “rise above the distraction of the details and widen your field of vision. Try to see the whole world at once and make sense of it.”
I know you are up to it, because, after all, that’s The Kimray Way.
5/1/2017
A Run to Remember
From the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon website:
Our mission is to celebrate life, reach for the future, honor the memories of those who were killed and unite the world in hope. This is not just another marathon. It is a Run to Remember…and a race to show that we can each make a difference and change the world.
Yesterday I ran my 17th OKC Memorial Marathon (Well, mostly I walked.) My PR for a marathon is 3:09 and since then I’ve rarely run over 5 hours. Yesterday our time was 6:15:37. Our time. Mav’s and mine. Neither one of us was properly trained (Ok, we weren’t trained at all.) Both of us were nursing injuries (by the middle of the race Mav’s back was seizing up.) We stayed together and we finished.
So maybe we shouldn’t have “run”. Maybe we should have done the smart thing and let this year go by. I had run all 16 Memorial Marathons prior to this year, so I had a vested interest in finishing number 17, but Mav didn’t. And most of the people around us yesterday didn’t either.
We didn’t run for us. We ran for 168 men, women and children who will never run a marathon. They will never again have the sun shine on their face. They will never again have the rain soak their clothes. They will never again push through pain. They will never again feel the joy of a journey completed.
We didn’t run for us. We ran for the families who lost their husbands, wives, sons and daughters. They will never again stand on the side lines and cheer the ones they lost. They will never again feel the pride as the ones they lost accomplish a goal. They will never give or get a hug and a kiss from the ones they lost. They will never get them back.
We didn’t run for us. We ran for the people who were fundamentally changed as survivors, rescue workers and support people. They will never look at some things the same way again. They will never forget what they saw and heard that day. They will never be able to escape the fear and uncertainty that lurks in their shadows. They will never be the same.
We didn’t run for us. So it didn’t matter how hard it was (even if that part was our fault.) So it didn’t matter that it rained, then shone, then rained, then shone, the rained horizontally, then shone, etc. etc. So it didn’t matter that we were at the back of the pack getting passed by almost every age and body type you can imagine.
I’ve done this 17 times. I cry at the start line during the 168 seconds of silence. I cry at the finish line when they put a medal around my neck and thank me for running. I’ve run a lot of other marathons but this one is different.
It’s different because no matter where you are on the course you can look up and see a banner with the name of someone who lost their life on April 19, 1995. It’s different because no matter how bad you feel, you realize that you are blessed to even be there, blessed to be able to run or walk, blessed to feel the sun or the rain (or both), and blessed to be surrounded by thousands of people who, if only for one day, are focused on doing something bigger than themselves.
Unlike most of the people out there yesterday, I am very familiar with the feeling of being surrounded by other-oriented people. I am surrounded everyday by people who are committed to making a difference and changing the world.
I am blessed every day.
Thank you.
4/24/2017
RIP
I’m going to forgive you in advance because I know most of you are not aware that Bob Taylor died April 13th. I’m also going to forgive you for not knowing who Bob Taylor was. Teams led by Robert Taylor pioneered or perfected many of the innovations we associate with modern computing: the computer mouse, the internet, the personal computer, the graphical user interface, icons, pop-up menus, cut-and-paste techniques, overlapping windows, bitmap displays, easy-to-use word processing programs, and Ethernet networking technologies, among others.
You don’t know who Taylor was because Taylor was a great team leader. If innovation was a competitive team sport, Bob Taylor was the winningest coach ever who infused it with passion and drama to inspire everyone who worked with him. Taylor did not think most innovations could be traced to a single individual. He liked to quote a Japanese proverb: “None of us is as smart as all of us.”
The wisdom of the crowd.
Our character quality for this month is humility. Entrepreneur magazine listed 22 Qualities That Make A Great Leader and they left humility off the list. I find that surprising since so much has been written about the failures that can be traced to the arrogance of a leader. Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues. Saint Augustine wrote, “Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility.”
If I wish to be an effective leader, I need to ask myself some difficult questions:
What motivates me? Am I seeking attention and a personal win, or am I more concerned with the success of the team (and even individuals on the team) and am I willing to let others have the spotlight? Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”
How willing am I to support and promote the ideas and efforts of others? Remember Taylor’s motto, “None of us is as smart as all of us.” We need the support and ideas from the team. If I don’t support others, I shouldn’t be surprised if they don’t support me. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” We all fall sooner or later.
Do I care about progress and innovation, or do I care about recognition? Believing that I have created my success is a dangerous road to start down. It is the opposite of humility. 1 Corinthians 4:7 says, “What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?” Basically, “How can you claim credit for what you have, when everything you have was, at least in part, given to you by someone else.” Ultimately, everything we have, including our capabilities, was given to us by God. If anyone should get an award it should be Him.
Taylor realized that innovation was always a team effort. Individuals make significant contributions, but every single person is building on the work of others. Like a tug-o-war team, each person with a hand on the rope adds to the potential for success. The individual cannot win without the team and the team cannot win without the individual.
If you google “dangers of success” you find several things repeated often: arrogance, failure to listen, thinking you’re the expert, shifting to lead by power and authority, and failure to receive feedback. Every one of these can be prevented with humility. HBR publish an excellent article on Six Principles for Developing Humility as a Leader.
You are great leaders. You are serving teams that are doing great things. I pray for each of you (and myself) that we will remain humble and remember that our first duty is to serve the people we are responsible for. When we lead from humility we honor the Lord in what we do.
That’s the Kimray Way
4/17/2017
Day 1
Nikki forwarded me a link to an article about Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon, and three words he recommends we use to make good decisions and do good work:
“Disagree and Commit”
This phrase was quoted from a letter Jeff sent to his shareholders. I had read another article that included the full text of that letter and those words had grabbed my attention also.
Bezos explains; to disagree and commit doesn’t mean ‘thinking your team is wrong and missing the point,’ which will prevent you from offering true support.
Rather, Bezos writes, “it’s a genuine disagreement of opinion, a candid expression of my view, a chance for the team to weigh my view, and a quick, sincere commitment to go their way.”
We claim to have this mindset at Kirmay. We talk about the “wisdom of the crowd”, and freedom to speak transparently. Certainly, we don’t always agree about everything (so we have the ‘disagree’ part down.)
Do we truly commit? Do we provide the support and resources necessary to make what we ‘commit’ to successful? Do we communicate confidence in our team and their abilities? Do we have faith in each other?
Read the full text of Jeff’s letter here: http://www.businessinsider.com/read-amazon-ceo-jeff-bezos-2016-letter-to-shareholders-2017-4
It needs to be Day 1 at Kimray.
Interestingly enough, it is symbolically Day 1 in Christianity. Yesterday we celebrated the resurrection of our Lord and Savior. Visiting the tomb, his followers expected to find his broken, beaten and lifeless body laying where they left it. But he wasn’t there. They believed their hopes and dreams had come to an end. But the journey was really just beginning.
God doesn’t ask us to have all the facts and be certain before we commit to Him. If we knew everything, then following Christ wouldn’t require faith. God is ok with me disagreeing with Him. He can handle my questions, my uncertainty, my lack of understanding. All He asks is that I commit.
I’ve walked through some very difficult things in my life. People around me are walking through shadowy valleys as I write this. Maybe you are in a place that you do not want to be. It’s ok to disagree with God. It’s ok to be angry, scared, uncertain, confused. It’s ok to tell God how you feel.
The way through these things is to commit.
Jeff Bezos said, “Day 2 is stasis. Followed by irrelevance. Followed by excruciating, painful decline. Followed by death. And that is why it is always Day 1.”
Let’s live like it is always Day 1. That is the Kimray Way
4/10/2017
The 1 Percent Rule
In the Amazon Rain Forest there are approximately 16,000 tree species. However, 227 “hyperdominant” species (1.4% of the total) are so common that they account for half of all the trees. Of the 16,000 species, 11,000 only account for 0.12% of trees. (http://science.sciencemag.org/content/342/6156/1243092)
Why?
In nature, as well as in human society, we are often faced with the Pareto Principle—also known as the 80/20 rule—the idea that a small number of things account for most the results. Why does this happen? Why do a few people enjoy the bulk of the rewards in life?
In the rainforest, imagine two plants growing side by side. Each day they will compete for sunlight and soil. If one plant can grow just a little bit faster than the other, then it can stretch taller, catch more sunlight, and soak up more rain. The next day, this additional energy allows the plant to grow even more. This pattern continues until the stronger plant crowds the other out and takes the lion’s share of sunlight, soil, and nutrients.
From this advantageous position, the winning plant has a better ability to spread seeds and reproduce, which gives the species an even bigger footprint in the next generation. This process gets repeated, again and again, until the plants that are slightly better than the competition dominate the entire forest.
Scientists refer to this effect as “accumulative advantage.” What begins as a small advantage gets bigger over time. One plant only needs a slight edge in the beginning to crowd out the competition and take over the entire forest.
Like the trees, we are often competing for the same resources. Being only 1% better can lead to being the winner. Small differences in performance lead to outsized rewards—the Winner Takes All effect.
People and organizations that can do the right things, more consistently, are more likely to maintain a slight edge and accumulate disproportionate rewards over time. You don’t need to be twice as good to get twice the results. You just need to be slightly better.
Continuous Improvement is one way we can take advantage of this principle. While it is sometimes necessary to make significant changes, often it is the small, daily improvements that end up giving us the advantage over time.
In Days of Thunder, Harry is on the radio with Cole during a race. He tells him to slow down because he will burn up his tires (thinking he is pushing the car because he’s gaining on the leader.) Cole responds that he isn’t going any faster, everyone else is slowing down.
Sometimes all it takes to get the accumulative advantage is to not slow down when others take their foot of the gas. The article in the Oklahoman last weekend made mention of the work our team did during the downturn to keep preparing for the future needs of our customers–a perfect example of keeping our foot on the gas.
We don’t have to be twice as good as the competition, we only have to be 1% better…every day. If we do, we will continue to make a difference everywhere we are.
That’s the Kimray Way.
4/3/2017
Doomsday Prep For Non-Paranoid People
That is the title of an article I read: http://lifehacker.com/doomsday-prep-for-non-paranoid-people-1793870107
I will warn you that there is a bad word in the article, but overall I found it funny and thought provoking.
Reading this article coincided with the Annual Shareholders Meeting—which was superb thanks to your efforts—where the subject of “what do we do if something bad happens” almost always comes up. This year it was in the form of a discussion during the afternoon family meeting about the future leadership of Kimray and then ultimately about the future of Kimray itself.
You are not paranoid if people are really out to get you.
We have a fantastic vision that is guiding us and helping everyone know where we are going. We do wonderful strategy work and get better every year at creating achievable milestones. We have a high functioning team that performs well together and is really hitting its stride. So, what happens if someone doesn’t come back some day? What if the industry we are in suddenly changes significantly (ok, that one we have experienced…) What is our prep plan for these types of doomsday possibilities?
One way to handle future uncertainty is to deny that it can or will happen. This is not wise. History shows us that things will eventually go wrong. Ecclesiastes 11:8 says, “But if a man live many years, and rejoice in them all; yet let him remember the days of darkness; for they shall be many. All that cometh is vanity.” Likewise, Proverbs 27:1 says, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”
Sometimes people assume that they will be able to accommodate the disruption and adapt to the new circumstances. This is seldom true. Without some foresight and preparation, the skills, resources and plans needed to meet the new challenges are not often available. Proverbs 6:6-8 says, “Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones. Learn from their ways and become wise! Though they have no prince or governor or ruler to make them work, they labor hard all summer, gathering food for the winter.”
The prudent thing is to assess the most likely potential threats and make reasonable preparations to manage them. Most of us have insurance on our cars and homes and in many cases our lives. We acknowledge that an accident is possible and we plan for the financial resources to restore what is damaged. We can do the same thing for other areas of our personal and corporate lives.
You may drive a car your whole life and never get in an accident. You may own a home and never experience a fire or other disaster. You may never have to replace a key team member suddenly and without warning. You will however face your creator someday. Psalm 39:4 says, “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is.” When our life here on earth is over we will face God. Many people will procrastinate and say, “I don’t need to change my life or accept Him.” That is why many people will hear “depart from me I never knew you.”
I am confident that those who are getting these emails from me are trusting in Jesus as Savior and Lord. However, if you read “prepper” blogs and articles you soon find that they are preparing not just for their own survival, but to keep their families and, in some cases, their friends safe too.
Who do you know that would not be “safe” if they were to die today? Do you care enough about these people to share food, water and shelter with them in the event of a crisis? Why would you help save them from earthly trials and leave them out in the storm in an eternal sense?
Today is the day. We do not know what a day may bring. Let’s be prepared to manage our business and our homes in the event of those disruptions that are reasonably possible. More importantly, let’s share with those around us the only real security we can have in an uncertain and decidedly terminal world.
That’s the Kimray Way.
3/27/2017
Bananas
In 1890, a pathogen called Fusarium oxysporum f.sp. cubense wiped out the banana plantations across Latin America. This was because unlike in a natural environment where there is diversity, the banana plantations had been reproducing and planting clones of the Gros Michel banana. Basically, every banana plant in Latin America was an identical twin of every other one. So, when a disease arrived that the Gros Michel was susceptible to, it got them all.
The banana producers found another banana, the Cavendish, and started cloning it because it was resistant to fusarium wilt. Today, if you were born after 1950, it is unlikely you have ever purchased or eaten a banana that isn’t a Cavendish clone.
The bad news is that there is a new strain of fusarium that kills Cavendish bananas. It would appear history is about to repeat itself.
This is an extreme example of the result of a lack of biodiversity. Biodiversity is generally the variety and variability of life on Earth, and is usually divided into three subsets:
Species diversity is defined as the number of species and abundance of each species that live in a location. Each species has a role in the ecosystem.
Genetic diversity, or genetic variation, gives living organisms unique traits that distinguish them from even their closest relatives. Genetic variation explains differences in human facial features, breeds of dogs and cats, height and size of plants and many more alterations. Populations that are genetically identical are especially vulnerable to pathogens and disease (like the Latin American banana plantations.)
Ecological diversity is the variation in the ecosystems found in a region or in the whole world. Different ecosystems are necessary to produce clean air, clean water, and fertile soils. Without diversity, individual ecosystems would not be able to withstand environmental perturbations.
We get the word diversity from the Latin diversus, which means different. Diversification is the action of making or becoming more diverse, in other words, becoming different.
Difference comes in many flavors. In the case of bananas, the plantation owners could have chosen to plant a variety of different bananas to protect the crops from a single pathogen (genetic diversity.) They could have grown other fruits along with the bananas (species diversity.) They could even have arranged the groves such that there was some separation to help prevent the spread of disease (ecological diversity.) Each of these differences has a cost associated with them, but they also offer certain protections and benefits.
We are committed to diversification at Kimray for the same reason the banana growers should be. When all our revenue is tied to a limited range of products (not much genetic diversity), sold to a small group of customers (not much species diversity), in a narrow band of a single industry (not much ecological diversity), we are at risk of a single event wiping us out.
We also need diversity in our team. We need people with different backgrounds, different experiences and different views to help us find the best path toward our future. If we all look, think and act alike we will miss much of the opportunity and improvement available to us.
Paul, the apostle, wrote about diversity among the early Christians. He compared a community to a body; “…our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-21
We should seek and celebrate diversity in our team. Each of us has unique talents, experiences and potential that combined with others makes our community agile, healthy and strong. We are all different, but we are all a part of the larger whole. Our mission and core values hold us together and create the environment where everyone can flourish.
Let’s not be a banana plantation full of clones, let’s be a garden overflowing with variety.
That is the Kimray Way.
3/20/2017
All the Small Things
Travis Barker and Tom Delonge of Blink 182 wrote a song called, “All The Small Things” which has this lyric:
All the small things
True care, truth brings
She left me roses by the stairs,
Surprises, let me know she cares
I love that song because it reminds me that I don’t have to do big, impressive things to make a difference in someone’s life. Sometimes it is the small things, consistently done over time that best communicate that we care.
A recent study confirmed the 50 top ways to show someone you care are all remarkably simple. A spontaneous hug, giving a compliment and saying, “I love you” all feature in the top 10, proving that it’s often gestures that require the smallest effort that have the biggest impact.
Why is this true?
I’m sure there are lots of reasons that explain the complex responses we have to what others do, but I have some theories:
Consistent simple gestures communicate that the other person is on your mind (and heart.) We all have someone (or if we’re lucky, several) who asks us how we are doing and they really want to know. That feels good. We want to be cared for, thought about, paid attention to. It is not the size of the gesture that matters, rather it is frequency and consistency that communicate how serious the other person is about our relationship.
This is true for our team members too. Getting recognized once a year on an anniversary and getting a gift can be encouraging, but being told daily that you are appreciated and valued, even if it is in passing, is more likely to create a lasting impact. We also must be intentional in our roles as leaders that our praise and appreciation out-number correction by a significant margin (some say at least 10 to 1.) If we seldom communicate appreciation, even if it is big, and we often correct, the person will most likely feel uncared for and underappreciated.
Small things matter in communities too. My 15-year-old son and I decided to watch the entire Hobbit/Lord of the Ring series (extended version) over Spring Break. That’s 21 hours of yummy Tolkien goodness for those keeping score. Our original intent to was to watch the whole series in a single non-stop binge, but we were persuaded by his mother (who is also my wife and therefore holds considerable sway over both of us) to break it up into smaller bites.
In Tolkien’s imaginary world, there is a very clear and obvious battle between good and evil. There are many epic battles involving large forces. There are difficulties in the relationships between entire races. There is a Dark Lord who has incredible power and amasses an enormous and vicious army to do his bidding. And there is a ring. A ring of power, and the temptation to use this ring (whose power is evil) to do good. Early in the story the Queen of the Elves, Galadriel, asks Gandalf why he chose a hafling, a Hobbit, to be a part of the quest. Gandalf responds:
“I don’t know. Saruman believes that it is only great power that can hold evil in check. But that is not what I have found. I’ve found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? Perhaps it is because I am afraid, and he gives me courage.”
Wow.
How perfect is that for our time? Many people are waiting for some “great power” to make things right. Many people think it takes political power, or influence, or money, or position of some kind to impact the world. Many people think there is really nothing they can do.
In Tolkien’s tome, it turns out to be Bilbo’s cousin, Frodo, who carries the ring to its destruction. It is not by might that Frodo wins the day, but by consistent diligence. He simply stays the course. It is hard, nearly impossible at times, but he pushes forward and in the end his sacrifice is the event that saves Middle Earth from darkness.
Any one of us could be Frodo.
Making a difference doesn’t take power, it takes the consistent application of good character.
Making a difference doesn’t take wealth, it takes the willingness to give of ourselves to others.
Making a difference doesn’t take position, it takes the belief that every action, however small, impacts the world for good or for bad.
What we do today will matter. We must choose to make a difference for good. That is the Kimray Way.
3/13/2017
To Protect and To Serve
I noticed a police car the other day. Not that I don’t notice police cars when I see them, but the way I look at them these days is different. I used to see them as potential problems and my unconscious response was to check my speed. Since I am not concerned about getting pulled over for speeding these days, I find that I can “see” the police car in traffic with me. Written on the side of the car (which happened to be an Enid police car, and no, I was not in Enid) was “To Protect and To Serve”
That got me thinking.
We use the term “servant leadership” a lot these days. Historically, one of the main responsibilities of leadership was protection. The ruling class did have some significant perks, but if their land or people were threatened they rode out to protect them. The best leaders were at the front of the fight standing (or riding) shoulder to shoulder with their people.
We protect a lot of things at Kimray. We protect our trademarks, our product and manufacturing knowledge, our money, our property, our market share, and hopefully most important, our people.
It is unlikely we will be called upon to take up arms to defend Kimray from a physical attack, but our people are under attack all the time from many enemies.
We want Kimray to be a safe place to work. We create a environment that is physically safe, limiting exposure to potentially harmful things, providing training and encouragement in safe methods and requiring personal protection and work aids. We create an environment that is safe from harassment, discrimination, crude or vulgar language, and offensive or pornographic images. We maintain our facilities, monitor our buildings and parking lots, and screen potential team members to limit our team’s exposure to unhealthy or dangerous people.
We want Kimray to promote healthy lifestyles. We have great medical coverage and emphasize preventative care and early detection for illness. We promote active lifestyle choices and create incentives for our people to make better choices. We provide education, support and resources for our people and their families. We do as much as we can to protect the health of our people so they can serve and protect their families.
My question today is, are we protecting our people’s time. We say that family is a priority over work. I have talked about being intentional in the choices we make vs. trying for some unrealistic “balance”. At the end of the day, or week, we need to ask ourselves if we have helped or harmed our people where their time is concerned.
As leaders, we often have the privilege of managing our own calendar to maximize our ability to work. We can limit the number of meetings we accept, block out time to work on things that require focus, and even choose to not come into the office if we think we could be more productive elsewhere. We also almost always have private offices where we can close the door to reduce interruptions and create quiet space.
The people that we are supposed to protect and serve do not always have the capability to do these things. It is our responsibility to protect their time and guard them from being over scheduled. We should strive to limit unnecessary meetings, give them appropriate control over their time to be as efficient as possible, and encourage them to be creative and vocal in participating in setting the expectations for how they work.
In general, people are working longer hours, late nights, and weekends. This is a result of their fear that they must accomplish more or be cast aside, and their inability to find reasonable blocks of time during the day to get substantive work done. They are under attack from the very people that should be defending them.
Kimray should be a safe place where time is concerned too. As leaders, we must protect our people from believing they must always be on, available all the time, for anyone. Rather, we should manage our requirements for them in a way that gives them the ability to complete their work and protect their family and personal time.
Remember, when we hire someone, we don’t own that person. When we think about a workweek as “company time,” we’re turning it into something the company owns. But really, it’s not company time — it’s the employee’s, to do work for the company.
Let’s protect our people’s time. It’s the Kimray Way
3/6/2017
We Are the Champions
I spent the weekend in Tulsa watching the Big 12 Wrestling Tournament. The OSU Cowboys dominated the event and made history several times over. All 10 Cowboys made it to the finals, 8 Cowboys won the championship at their weight, we scored more team points than anyone in Big 12 history and won by a larger margin than any team before. The Team Conference title was also the Cowboys 51st in wrestling and OSU’s 400th overall.
I love to watch wrestling. I wrestled in high school, so I understand what is going on (unlike most other sports.) I enjoy the individual nature of the sport, yet each wrestler is also competing for, and impacts, the team score. The sacrifice and preparation these men put into becoming champions is nothing short of phenomenal.
You can be sure that they were prepared this weekend. Each wrestler had studied his opponents. They learned the moves most likely to be used by the other wrestler and had practiced and visualized their counters. They had trained, punished their bodies to gain strength and stamina, and made weight (no small feat.) They were ready, and when they faced their opponents on the mat it showed.
In life, it is rare that you get to be as singularly prepared for the battle as the cowboys were. Our opponents don’t usually show up in a defined arena and face us man-to-man in open competition. Rather, we often find ourselves fighting against unseen and unexpected forces in our lives. Sometimes the deadliest enemies present themselves as our friends, standing next to us (not opposed to us) and even putting their arm around our shoulder and talking in our ear as if they were on our side.
Our greatest battles are rarely defined moments that we see coming and can easily identify. The most difficult struggles happen slowly over time in ways that are hard to notice and harder to define. If we are not vigilant, small choices, little concessions, minor deceptions (internal or external) slowly move us away from our best selves. In many cases, we are our own worst enemy.
We often look at people around us who have failed in ways that don’t match our failures and wonder, “How could they have done that? In what universe did that seem like a good thing?” When the reality is, we too make irrational and unwise choices, often without even knowing it. The voices we listen to and the influences we allow into our lives are stronger than any external demon we will ever face.
The same thing is true for organizations. If we listen to the wrong signals and are influenced by the wrong things we will end up in the wrong place, translated: we lose the fight. So, what are we fighting for?
The Cowboys had a very simple objective: score more points than their opponents in each 7-min match. The ability to DO that took years to develop.
Our fight is to stay true to our core values. Always.
Like the Cowboys, we can prepare even though the enemy is not as visible or well defined. The Cowboys wrestle each other every day. They practice their holds and moves and give each other feedback. When something works, they know it and when it doesn’t work someone gets stuck to the mat. Practicing together in the safety of the O-State wrestling room is safe. They can fail without “losing” and learn from those mistakes. While there is sure to be some good-natured ribbing, each Cowboy on the team values the input from the others and respects their fellow wrestlers.
We must personally and professionally have safe places to talk and work-out the issues that we face. We must be willing to give advice, and be willing to take it. We must be honest, even if it means someone get stuck to the mat. We must do this because if we don’t fail at “home” and learn, we will fail in the fight and lose. No Cowboy becomes a champion alone. It takes the whole team.
If all the Cowboys did was wrestle each other they would still be vulnerable in a dual. The strength of the OSU Wrestling program is decades of winning that has produced methods and strategies that work. Each new team member must find his own way to integrate himself into the program, but no one ignores the history. They also listen to others who know more than they do, and they are humble enough to take advice and change.
Kimray has decades of history that we should honor and acknowledge. As conditions change, the team must adapt and integrate new information into that matrix of our past. Like the Cowboys, we should be humble enough to admit we don’t know everything and seek out the best advice and help we can find.
We don’t know what conditions we will face in the future. We don’t know what demons we may have to fight personally. We can train each day through all the individual actions and decisions we make. We can support each other, practice with each other and continue to prepare. Ultimately, we must trust God. He does know what’s coming, corporately and personally, for each of us. Better yet, He already won the fight (He dominated!)
We are a championship team.
That’s the Kimray Way.
2/27/2017
Too Little Too Late
In 1985, the US Army selected the Beretta M9 (a version of the 92FS) as its standard issue side arm. On January 19, the Army ended that 30-year relationship when it chose the Sig Sauer Model P320 as its new weapon of choice. If you’re keeping score, that 10-year contract is worth $580 million. The Army plans to purchase more than 280,000 full-size handguns and approximately 7,000 sub-compact handguns. Other military services who participate in the program may buy an additional 212,000.
Founded in the 16th century, Beretta is the oldest active manufacturer of firearm components in the world. In 1526, its inaugural product was arquebus barrels; by all accounts Beretta-made barrels equipped the Venetian fleet at the Battle of Lepanto in 1571. In 1650, the company invented the breech-loading cannon, and Beretta has supplied weapons for every major European war since. Beretta’s sister company, Beretta USA Corp., located in the United States, manufactured and delivered over 600,000 M9 pistols to the United States Armed Forces starting in 1985.
So how does the oldest firearm manufacturer in the world lose a 30-year relationship with the US Army?
While we will probably never know all the details we can make some observations:
When you are on top, you tend to play defense to try not to lose. That is not the same as trying to win. Beretta spent the last 30 years trying not to lose the government contract. Over those 30 years Beretta only made a few updates to the M9. The M9A1 came out in 2005 (15 years after Beretta started delivering guns) and was mostly driven by negative feedback from the US Armed Forces. The M9A2 never saw the light of day and the M9A3 submitted to the Army in 2015 was a last-ditch effort to compete with Sig Sauer’s modular and adaptable platform. Too Little Too Late.
Sometimes your best features today can be your greatest defects tomorrow. The very things that made the Beretta the dominating weapon in the military trials 30 years ago: stable, heavy, 9mm, DA (double action meaning a trigger pull can cock the gun) with interchangeable parts–became it’s undoing in the current environment. Today the military wants a Modular Handgun System (MHS): a non-caliber specific weapon with modular features to allow for the adaption of different fire control devices, pistol grips, and alternate magazine options; fitting various hand sizes and mounting targeting enablers using Picatinny rails. These “features” have been cropping up in gun design for the last 20 years. Beretta should have seen the writing on the wall and adapted sooner. Too Little Too Late.
When your customer says you’re wrong, you are wrong. Beretta didn’t have to see any writing on the wall. As early as 2009, the Army evaluated the changes Beretta incorporated into the M9A1 and maintained that the M9 system did not meet their MHS requirements. There is being bold and there is being stupid. Beretta may have thought they were being bold to maintain their commitment to the M9 platform but if they wanted the Army as a customer they were being stupid. When your customer tells you loudly and clearly exactly what they want, you should give it to them. Too Little Too Late.
What does this have to do with Kimray?
We don’t want to be the Beretta of the Oil & Gas industry.
We are one of the oldest continually operating companies manufacturing production control devices. We are the product of choice. We have long relationships with our customers and they have bought a lot of our products. Sound familiar?
If we want to win going forward we must play offense, not defense. If we want to remain relevant, we must acknowledge that yesterday’s products may not meet tomorrow’s needs. If we want to make a difference in the lives of those we serve, we must listen to them.
Let’s make that the Kimray Way.
P.S. I love Beretta guns. I love the 92FS and have several of them. They are my favorite handguns to shoot. I still think the 92 is one of the greatest guns ever designed, and that Carlo Beretta, Guiseppe Mazzelli, and Vittorio Valle (the designer/engineers) are geniuses. Unfortunately (to the tune of $580 million) the US Army doesn’t agree with me.
2/20/2017
Excellence or Mediocrity
Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. – Aristotle
Many hundreds, if not thousands, of pieces have been written regarding the benefit of carefully developed routines. Many famously successful people have unique and personal daily rituals they use to manage their stress, workload and health. Proverbs is full of wisdom regarding how to craft a life that is spent wisely and creates value and they almost all involve a habit.
When we began Character education over 25 years ago, we said that we could change our character not by some great effort all at once, but rather by making small choices consistently over time.
There is a common thread that runs through almost all the literature related to routines and habits and how they impact our lives: little things matter. Routines are the foundational pieces of our lives that give us the leverage to do the larger work.
The opposite of excellence is not inferiority, it is mediocrity. I came across a very interesting post a while back:
Some take-a-ways for me were:
Little things become big things
I know this intuitively, but I don’t often heed the reality. This has been said lots of ways by lots of people. This is true about everything, healthy or unhealthy. The small daily choices end up becoming the majority.
What is private always shows itself publicly
I cannot be two different men. What I am in private will be what I will eventually show myself to be in public. I have experienced this truth in a very profound way in my life. Now my mental and emotional health compel me to be authentic.
What you think about, meditate on and spend time with is what you become
This is why culture is so important at Kimray. We want to surround ourselves with people we want to do life with. People we want to be like. We want to challenge each other to be better, encourage each other to dream, and create a current that moves us all in a positive direction.
I am grateful that I am surrounded by men and women who want to create excellence in themselves, in the work we do, and in the larger community. That is what excites me every day and that is the Kimray Way.
2/13/2017
Change When Things are Good
I was watching the first episode of “Abstract”, a new series about design on Netflix, with my son. It is a fantastic show and I highly recommend it. The featured designer was an illustrator named Christoph Niemann (http://www.christophniemann.com/ ).
During the conversation he was having with us, the audience, he made a statement that struck me. He said, “Change direction when things are good.”
That is profound.
When things are good we generally want them to stay that way. When things are good we are afraid that if we change something, things might get worse. When things are good we often act more to protect what we have than to create new opportunities.
Complacency: satisfaction, especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies.
When I perceive things as good, I avoid acknowledging the realities and dangers that I am surrounded by. I rationalize that my best move is to defend what I have, rather than find new ways to create more. Ironically, in good times, I tend to move toward an economy of scarcity, acting like there is a limited amount of “good” and making sure to protect what little I have acquired.
Big mistake.
The best time to re-evaluate your options is when you don’t have to.
The best time to create is when you have the resources to build what you imagine.
The best time to move is when you are solidly rooted and have the foundation to branch out from.
Necessity may be the mother of invention, but she is a single mom, working two jobs, and doesn’t have the time or energy to be supportive. Scarcity can be a motivator, but it also triggers the fight/flight response and narrows our field of vision to just survival options.
If we want to create from the infinite range of options, we are better starting from a position of availability. We must foster a mindset open to change and possibility. We must look for it and learn to see it all around us.
Psalm 50 reminds us that God owns everything in the created universe. In Philippians 4, Paul reminds us that we shouldn’t worry about anything, but instead tell God what we need and trust Him. Then he goes on to tell us we can do everything through Christ. Resources are not scarce for God. We have everything we need and we have the spark of creativity given to us by the first creator.
I am very proud of the work we do at Kimray to imagine a future with so many possibilities. The better things get, the more I want us to find new directions and new ways we can make a difference in the lives of those we serve.
That’s the Kimray Way.
2/6/2017
Set fire to your mind, not to books
I find it sadly interesting that most of the futures we imagine are dystopian. Really, I challenge you to think of a movie or a book about a distant (or even near term) future where the general sense is that things are better, people are more fulfilled and overall we are happier.
Many of these dystopian futures involve a high level of control over individual thought and behavior either through drugs, genetic engineering or good old fashion dictatorial control (which ALWAYS includes some form of misinformation and history revision).
In 1953, Ray Bradbury wrote Fahrenheit 451, a dystopian novel which presents a future American society where books are outlawed and “firemen” burn any that are found. 451°F is the temperature at which paper catches fire and burns. Bradbury stated in 1956 that he wrote the book because of his concerns about the threat of book burning in the United States (this during the McCarthy era), but in later years he described the book as a commentary on how mass media reduces interest in reading literature.
I like to use the definition of literature as “the best expression of the best thought reduced to writing.” Notice this does not say “right” thought. Often our “best” thoughts end up being wrong after further discourse or discovery. It is in the discussion and the act of codifying these thoughts that literature is born. By reading literature we learn how thoughts are communicated in ways that woo and court us at times, and at times scream and flail at us with clenched fists. By attempting to write we learn to organize our thoughts and consider how words will be consumed by others who have different experiences and views than ourselves.
I have never considered mass media, social media or even the traditional news to be literature. They labor under the necessity to address complex topics and situations quickly and without losing the focus of people who have the attention span of a 2-year-old. This renders these media outlets fuzzy at best and most often dangerous.
Reading books, written by educated and skilled authors, transforms the way we think and interact. We are forced to consider the argument and the case that is made. We must compare the new information to what we have already learned and experienced and determine if we should adjust or adapt. We must think.
In an essay about reading called, “Here’s my secret weapon: I read” ( https://medium.com/hi-my-name-is-jon/heres-my-secret-weapon-i-read-1bf722d1cfeb#.wcm4wsrb3 ) Jon Westenberg says, “If you want to accomplish anything of value, challenge yourself to read.” I agree. Westenberg opens the door to reading a wide variety of literature, including “books about dragons and wizards and ancient spells.” I love that. Great writing is not limited to a topic or genre. I grew up reading Edgar Rice Burroughs, Ray Bradbury, Anne McCaffrey and other great sci-fi writers. I also read graphic novels, theology, science textbooks, history, and about anything else I could get my hands on.
If we read a wide variety of literature, including authors and topics we don’t agree with, how do we allow the experience to educate us without overtaking us? In Acts 17 we see the story of the Bereans who “searched the Scriptures day after day” to verify what they were being told. Later in the chapter, Paul uses his knowledge of the polytheistic culture of the city to preach about Jesus. This is the key. We must know the author of truth if we want to be capable of discerning the truth we find in the world.
I tell my children that there is truth in everything. Sometimes the truth is presented as a negative example, but it is always there. Music, movies, literature, the stories of people’s lives and our own experiences always highlight the truth of God’s created order and control of the universe. He is inescapable and therefore His truth is everywhere.
So read. Read as much as you can. Read a variety of things (I highly recommend anything written by Edgar Rice Burroughs) But start by reading your bible. If you know what God says, it will be easy to see the truth in everything else.
1/30/2017
Why Worry
Schopenhauer wrote:
“If you accustom yourself to this view of life you will regulate your expectations accordingly, and cease to look upon all its disagreeable incidents, great and small, its sufferings, its worries, its misery, as anything unusual or irregular; nay, you will find that everything is as it should be, in a world where each of us pays the penalty of existence in his own peculiar way.”
The view of life Schopenhauer was referring to has come to be known as Existentialism. I recently read a very interesting piece called, “Dreadful Dads” (https://aeon.co/essays/what-the-childless-fathers-of-existentialism-teach-real-dads) that, while centered on parenting, actually had a lot to say about how one does, or doesn’t, live life.
I must admit that when I was younger, the most effort I ever put into studying and understanding philosophy was when it was required reading in high school and college. The primary reason I can name major philosophers is that I know the lyrics to the “Philosophers Song” from Monty Python (if you want a link I will send you one). However, I now find myself to be very interested in the processes various generations have gone through to understand—and create some sensible way to interact with—the often-ridiculous world we experience.
Existentialism is difficult to define. Looking it up may yield something like this: “a philosophical theory or approach that emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will.” That is true, but doesn’t do the movement justice. I will not try to educate you on this historical movement, you can do that on your own if you choose, but there are things that make sense to me within this philosophy.
In the linked article, Kaag says, “There is something paradoxical in accepting Schopenhauer’s dark suggestion. One might think that it makes life harder but, in our experience, when a father takes Schopenhauer’s assertion – to view life as a ‘uselessly disturbing episode’ – the experience of fatherhood somehow becomes more manageable. The shame, disappointment and guilt that so many parents face are often a function of unrealistic expectations. When an existentialist father is at his wit’s end, he has already prepared himself for the experience. It might be painful, but it doesn’t come as a huge shock.”
Expand this to life in general. So many times, when I am disturbed, I find that the disturbance is in me. It is the result of expectations I hold regarding how people will treat me, respond to me, and accept me and how or what I think the “world” owes me. When I manage (for even a moment) to accept that the world owes me nothing and I have no claim to any particular treatment from anyone, I find a peace that I have come to rather enjoy. This is not the same as pessimism. I do not live with a sense that all will be bad and there is no hope for better. Rather I live with the realism that life is often hard and unpredictable, and all I have control over is my own actions and responses (not my wife, my kids, the traffic, the economy, other people, the weather, most circumstances….).
The existentialists reminded us of freedom’s infinite possibility. Coexistence is difficult because it entails the variability, vulnerability and tragedy of living with other human beings who are wholly free to explore their own freedom exactly as they choose. We can love them, and we surely do, but this doesn’t mean that they will act in accordance with our will or, even if they do, that this will turn out for the best.
The other result of an existentialist frame is that realism creates a capacity for meaningful empathy. “This may perhaps sound strange,” Schopenhauer admits, “but it is in keeping with the facts; it puts others in a right light; and it reminds us of that which is after all the most necessary thing in life – the tolerance, patience, regard, and love of neighbor, of which everyone stands in need, and which, therefore, every man owes to his fellow.”
The existentialists were concerned with authenticity and disavowed that the sum of natural sciences could tell us enough to understand what it is to be “human.” I agree. They went on to dismiss supplanting the scientific view with a moral one. Neither moral thinking (governed by the norms of the good and the right) nor scientific thinking (governed by the norm of truth) suffices they would say. I agree. Human understanding of the scientifically observable world does not sufficiently explain much. History has shown again and again (how nature points out the folly of man) that man-made social, religious and/or moral “codes” are equally prone to failure. If the story ended there I would be an existentialist.
The story doesn’t end there. My story began on a cross 3000 or so years ago with the decision Jesus made to save me, and it will never end. Here in the middle of my story I am unable to make sense of everything around me, but I do not despair because I believe it makes sense to God (which is not the same as Him being happy about it.) To the best of my ability, each moment of each day, I choose to accept the reality of a fallen world full of broken people that will not meet my expectations and whom God has called me to love anyway.
In the song, “Why Worry” written and sung by Mark Knopfler, the frontman for Dire Straits, opens with the lines:
Baby I see this world has made you sad
Some people can be bad
The things they do, the things they say
But baby I’ll wipe away those bitter tears
I’ll chase away those restless fears
That turn your blue skies into grey
And ends with the line:
These things have always been the same
So why worry now
You are some of those broken people God has placed in my life and I love you (imperfectly) and hope as we experience this temporal life together that we have the opportunity wipe away each other’s tears and chase away our restless fears. The “right light” I want to put you in is the light of a Savior who loves us perfectly. Because of that love (for me and for you) I do owe you, my neighbor (and everyone) “tolerance, patience, regard, and love.”
Besides, these things have always been the same, so why worry now?
That is God’s Way (and He’s okay with it being the Kimray Way too)
01/23/2017
Power does not Equal Leadership
Robert Greenlaw sent me an email over the weekend that I would like to share with you:
“I’ve been mulling over this since Friday and decided to write. I watched an hour or two of inaugural ceremonies with my kids on Friday. It was fun to see and talk about the historic monuments and try to explain what was happening. But I noticed a certain phrase used by commentators more than once. They spoke about the “peaceful transfer of power.”
They were probably trying to emphasize the “peaceful transfer” part, but it’s the word “power” that caught my attention several times, along with other terms such as “control” and “rule.” What’s sad is that I never heard references to the transfer of “leadership, responsibility, duty,” or other terms that should describe a president’s role.
This lies in stark contrast to how we describe leadership roles at Kimray. When your dad retired and the board selected you as CEO, we talked about a “transfer of leadership.” But no one referred to that transition in terms of “power, control, or rule.” Sure, your role comes with certain “power” (although I’ve never thought of it in those terms). But you and the executive team consistently emphasize leadership, responsibility, duty, sacrifice, example, and other virtues.
It’s refreshing to be in a community where we emphasize the noble side of leadership. Thanks for setting an example and living out this aspect The Kimray Way.”
First, I think it is significant that Robert is exposing his kids to our democratic process at a young age and taking the time to experience it with them and be able to help them process and understand what is going on. We all would like to be people of influence, but we often forget that our influence is inversely proportional to our relational distance. That’s a fancy way to say, “You have to be close to a person to have influence.” That relational closeness is developed with quantity of time and shared experiences.
Second, I agree with Robert about the absence of “leadership” related language in the public forum, particularly as this last election cycle has played out. The underlying issue is one of competition versus coherence.
Competition pits us against each other. One of us wins while the other looses. This is fine for ideas, processes and systems. The best idea can win over lesser ideas. The best process should rise to the top. The most robust and reliable system will prevail.
This is not ok for people. If some of us lose, we all lose eventually. Personhood is not the same as ideas or even ideologies. We can disagree about ideas and still respect one another as persons. Winning an ideological conflict by reducing the value of another person is not winning.
Coherence is an overall sense or understanding stemming from a logical interconnection. The primary interconnection at play here is that we are all humans, made in the image of God, and our value is not based in what we think or how we act. We can agree or disagree on anything and still maintain the value of our humanity.
That is hard work. That is messy work. That is why so many people choose to devalue others rather than lead them. This is what Robert is not seeing as he watches the events surrounding the inauguration.
Power, control and rule are competitive terms and they carry a sense of besting another person or persons. Leadership, responsibility and duty are coherent terms that carry the burden of valuing people above ideological wins.
So how do we as leaders demonstrate the second set of traits and avoid overusing the first set? It starts with our own belief that our worth is not set by what we personally accomplish or “win.” If I must compete with someone else to establish my value, then I will strive for power and control. If I understand that I have value as a human—and the result of that value should be the nature of my relationships with others—then I can work with others to achieve understanding and coherence even when we disagree.
2017 can be a great year for developing our relationship capacity and becoming more coherent internally. Our people have no shortage of examples of poor leadership. Let’s make it our goal to provide examples of better leadership.
That’s the Kimray Way.
01/16/2017
Dream
August 28, 1963. Less than 6 months before I was born, Martin Luther King, Jr. stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC and delivered one of the most famous speeches of all time.
You can read or listen to the speech here (I highly recommend it) http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm
Many know the “I have a dream” part of this speech. That was the end of the speech. Long before that he spoke of 100 years of segregation and discrimination that had continued after the Emancipation Proclamation was signed by “the great American” in whose symbolic shadow they then stood. He spoke of demanding the riches of freedom and security of justice. He dismissed gradualism and called for urgency in rising from the darkness into the sunlit path of racial justice. He condemned hatred and bitterness and praised dignity and discipline. And he called for unity.
In speaking of white people, many of whom were present that day, he said, “their destiny is tied up with our destiny…their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.”
How do we create unity in diversity? Unity is not sameness. If you listen to music you have heard unity. In a band, or orchestra or choir there are many instruments or voices and they are not the same. Each has a part to play and the parts are not the same. However, when all the voices are in agreement as to what they are to play, a common goal or center, and they each play or sing their part correctly and in time, the result is magnificent!
It is very challenging to create a common goal in a world of ego and competition and diversity. It is challenging but not impossible. When unity is achieved there is great power and strength. When unity is achieved there is beauty and harmony and peace.
I don’t know if we will achieve unity in the world. I am unsure about unity even in our nation. It might be possible in our state or city to a great degree if we wanted it enough and were willing to work hard enough.
I am sure that we can maintain and increase unity in the Kimray community. I say maintain because I believe we already have it, and increase because we can always improve it.
We have unity because we have a common goal and common values. We have unity, not sameness. We don’t want sameness. We want diversity. We want diversity of ideas and backgrounds and viewpoints. We want diversity of skills and capabilities and experiences. We want diversity of people. And we want unity. Each of us doing our part to create the common goal.
King was right. Our destinies are tied together. We are bound to one another in this game of life. I am glad I have the privilege to do life with you. Together we are strong and beautiful.
That’s the Kimray Way.
01/09/2017
The Problem with People
I was having a conversation with someone I value. We were discussing an issue in his business regarding a person that had previously been creative and productive but had since stopped creating value. He went on to tell me about all the things they had done to try to get the person back on track, including changes to the processes and systems designed to specifically help just this one person. He is the type of person who will naturally go farther to carry someone then he often should. When he asked me what I thought I told him what he already knew about himself and that if he couldn’t find and fix the problem, the problem was the person. His company is being considered for a buyout and, as we talked, he realized that if someone from the outside looked at what they had done (and were doing) they would instantly see the problem.
Then the other day I read a very interesting article (which I won’t link here due to the language) about the differences that exist in how the media treats whites who are drug users and people of color who are drug users, “The media treats white drugs users like angels who lost their way and treats black drug users like demons who must be returned to hell.” There is truth in that.
It is also true that many people see addiction not as a disease but as a volitional choice. Hence the question, “Why don’t they just stop?” The war on drugs tends to focus on punishing (severely) people who are caught without much attention paid to why they are making the choice to use.
That brings me to this:
People are the problem. We can’t fix the problem, because we are the problem.
I know, that’s a pretty depressing thought, so I won’t end there. In fact, the next part is exciting.
People are the problem, but people are also the point. Systems don’t matter, processes don’t matter, machines and products and profits don’t matter. People matter. This will necessarily mean different things in different communities.
In the larger community of a nation, it is very difficult (I was going to say impossible) to address the needs of individuals, primarily because there are so many different circumstances and levels of problems. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try, but we need to be willing to acknowledge that a federal solution won’t work for a local problem and most problems are local because people are local.
At the other end of the spectrum are the communities we call families. Here we have the most chance of giving each person the opportunity to flourish. We know the most about each person, we have hands on, day-to-day influence and we are potentially in a position to know whether the person is ready for a particular type of growth.
Somewhere in the middle is the community we call Kimray. This community holds a very important position in the system of humans being. We fulfill several necessary roles including providing gainful employment so individuals can support themselves and/or their families and providing products and services to industries that are required to sustain our currently chosen way of life. However, possibly our most critical role is in strengthening families (where the most effective growth occurs) and influencing the larger culture so it provides the greatest opportunity for individuals to manage themselves.
One of the interesting things about the Kimray community that distinguishes it from the family or the nation is it is a mutually selective community. You can’t really pick your family, although you don’t have to acknowledge them (and many don’t.) Likewise, it is hard to disassociate with the nation (although some do.) At Kimray we choose each other. You have to be invited in and you have to accept the invitation. Both the invite and the RSVP carry a shared commitment and responsibility.
As a member of the Kimray community I commit to support our mission and core values. I am responsible to manage myself and my behavior in a way that creates value for our shared goals. I am not required to have a specific set of personal beliefs or a particular faith. I am not required to look a certain way. I am asked to be willing to sacrifice some amount of my personal freedom and expression for the good of the larger community.
In return, the community commits to support me, encourage me, help me grow and provide a safe place for me to work. The leadership of this community also commits to keep the needs of the community in sight as they navigate the very difficult waters of individual needs. Sometimes this means giving a member of the community a chance to change and sometimes it means letting someone move on. We must be careful not to be federal in our approach because one size does not fit all, yet we cannot be as individual and flexible as a family.
This is hard work. Systems are easy. Machines can be diagnosed, repaired or replaced. Processes can be updated.
People need to be lived with, loved, cared for and nurtured.
Kimray is, and should be, a place where these things are common place. All of us are like the addict. We are broken, and that brokenness often limits our choices. If we are not willing to grow and change, Kimray may not be the community for us. However, when we are at a place where we can sincerely say we want something better, the Kimray community will be there to help us achieve that.
That’s the Kimray Way.
01/02/2017
Finding Joy
I am reminded every day by my own responses and emotions that I am far to reliant on my circumstances for my serenity and joy. I let trivial things derail my day. I allow the thieves of expectation and entitlement to break in and take what is truly valuable. I exist when I should be living.
The recourse to my condition is not a Pollyanna, pasted on smile, “everything will be alight” falsity. Things are not always alright. The world is a dangerous and difficult place, full of hurt and heartache and loss. Often, the seasons and events that have the most capacity for joy also carry the most potential for damage, disappointment and depression.
Brandon Flowers (front man for the Killers) wrote a song called “The Way It’s Always Been”. One of the lyrics is:
Ain’t that the way that it’s always been?
Laying low just long enough for the dust to settle down
The black and the white, the thick and the thin
And hoping that He’s really got the power to save us from these sins
Everybody sitting around waiting for the Son to come again
The song is a lament about things that are lost and the longing hope that someday things will be better. What the song misses is that we aren’t supposed to be sitting around waiting for the Son to come again. I don’t want to spend my life laying low, waiting, and hoping for conditions to change. I want the life I was promised: “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. John 10:10”
The world, with all it’s problems, is bent on stealing my joy, killing my hope and destroying my capacity to live and love. The contrast I am promised as a Christ follower is rich experience and true satisfaction. Joy.
I do not make New Year’s resolutions. I am not capable of changing for a year, I am only capable of changing for a day. I find it necessary to recommit myself everyday to what I know is already mine. If I express gratitude for all I am and all I have, then the Son comes everyday. I have no way to change the past and no control over the future, but I can choose my response to this moment. I can choose to live and love and experience joy.
I pray that today will be full of joy for you. If you can find that, the rest of 2017 will take care of itself.
12/27/2016
Managing
As we are getting ready to start a new year (though January 3 will be just another Tuesday) I thought I would remind myself of my job. What is it that I am supposed to do?
We often use terms like “leader” and “manager” and we all have fancy titles like “Chief This” and “Chief That” or “Vice President of This and That.” We really all have the same job: to get things done, to move the company forward while maintaining our core values, valuing our co-laborers and honoring God.
In order to get things done we need other people and those people need to be helped along the way. This is leadership, management, whatever you want to call it. It also happens to be true that the most effective way to get things done is with a team of people who understand what they are trying to accomplish, know why it is important to get it done (and agree that it is important), and are good at working together.
The executive group just finished reading “The Ideal Team Player” (https://www.amazon.com/Ideal-Team-Player-Recognize-Leadership/dp/153186385X ) where we learned what it looks like when people are good at working together. We learned that people need to by Humble, Hungry and Smart (emotional IQ) to be successful team player.
Furthermore, it has been proven that the best work gets done by highly effective teams, not by the “best” individual people. Don’t read me wrong, I want to hire and retain great people, but the best people are no match for a great team, and a highly trained and effective person who won’t play well with others needs to go.
A recent article in FastCompany (https://www.fastcompany.com/3066591/lessons-learned/five-essential-lessons-i-learned-in-20-years-of-managing-people ) further defines this reality.
Greg Satell reminds us we don’t need the best people, but do need to fire the nasty one. He points out that mission drives strategy and money isn’t the best motivator. Finally he acknowledges that failing is part of the job description.
Reading the article, I was reminded that we already know most of this stuff. We have the data, now we need the experience. When Jesus called the disciples He was selecting the men who would carry the good news to the world after His death. These working class guys would build the church and pass on all that Jesus taught and showed them. He didn’t pick the most educated or connected. He didn’t find the guys that already had years of experience in public speaking or organizational development. He picked hard working guys who had to rely on each other everyday to get the job done.
Then he spent three years with them. Three. Years. 1068 days. 25,632 hours. Time. Living, eating, working, traveling, and teaching. He built a team. He taught them to rely on each other, to lean on each other, to back each other up. They had different gifts and skills and temperaments, yet together they were the team Jesus entrusted His legacy to.
None of us are Jesus or even an apostle, but the model is valid. We must continue to be a high functioning team (read time spent together in humility) and develop our own teams. Then we must teach others to build and lead teams too.
We have made a great start and I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, so let’s keep moving toward our vision and let’s take our teams along with us.
12/19/2016
Bees
Over dinner one night this week my second born son told me he was interested in keeping bees. Funny that we say we ‘keep’ bees. More on that later maybe.
The reason he brought that up, he said, was because he knew that I kept bees when I was younger. I did. I love bees. They don’t love me. Or more accurately, my body violently rejects being stung by bees (or anything else that has venom.)
I love bees because they are so complex in their communal existence, yet so simple as individuals. Their combs are works of art based solidly on geometry and structural physics. The fact that they can fly is amazing. And they communicate with each other and then make a group decision about what to do.
Not surprisingly, our minds work in a similar way to how a bee hive makes decisions. Presenting several options and then suppressing all but one.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/you-have-a-hive-mind/
We have talked about the “wisdom of the crowd” here at Kimray. That term might mean different things to different people, so let’s define it for ourselves.
Utilizing the wisdom of the crowd is a way to get several ideas, or options, or strategies on the table quickly, and then select the best option by ruling out (read suppressing) all but one. It is not an average or lowest common denominator event, but rather a rapid series of influencing nudges which push the collective toward a final answer.
This is an interesting article about how this idea is being developed into tools we can use: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20161215-why-bees-could-be-the-secret-to-superhuman-intelligence
We would do this naturally unless we are influenced to avoid or ignore the wisdom of the crowd. We should therefore be aware of and seek to mitigate those things which influence us away from relying on the group:
Pride: a foolishly and irrationally corrupt sense of one’s personal value, status or accomplishments.
If I need to be able to claim that an accomplishment was primarily due to my effort or intelligence in order to validate my worth, I am much more likely to avoid collaborative situations and rely mostly on my own decisions. Proverbs 11:2 says, “Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” If we are humble we will seek the input and advice of others and benefit from the “wisdom” of the crowd.
Top Down – Command and Control: an approach to leadership that is authoritative in nature and uses a top-down approach; privilege and power (read control) are vested in senior management.
The only real reason we would maintain a Top Down culture is because we are afraid of losing control. Somehow we believe that, as leaders, if we don’t make all the decisions we are therefore not in control and not really a leader. This is silly. Real leadership is inclusive and serving in nature. As leaders we should surround ourselves with people who are smarter and better in their areas of experience than we will ever be, then TRUST them to do great work. In Mark 10:42-45, Jesus contrast the “rulers of the world” who are authoritarian with the way we should be: “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Fear: is the ultimate culture killer. Fear slows organizations down, causes hesitation, drives stress, and keeps literally millions of individuals from reaching their potential in effectively supporting their organizations.
People become afraid when they risk and are then shut-down or punished for it. If people are working at their best, sometimes they will fall down, or fail. How we respond to those failures creates the culture we will live in. If we support, celebrate the effort and highlight what we learned, the team will learn to risk wisely and fail quickly while at the same time valuing good processes. If we retract authority, override people’s input, hover and/or tell people ‘how to’, the team will learn that they are not trusted and will not be rewarded for initiative and creativity and subsequently will avoid bold moves of any kind.
In Matthew 25, Jesus tells a story about 3 servants and their master. Two of the servants invested (at some risk I must believe) and reaped a reward, the third didn’t invest out of fear and was taken out of responsibility.
Fear, Control and Foolish Pride are not the Kimray Way. Having a culture that rewards humility, values the input of everyone and is a safe place to live and learn…that is the Kimray Way.
So why do we ‘keep’ bees?
To keep an animal or person is to provide for their physical or financial needs in exchange for something the ‘keeper’ seeks and finds valuable (think about a ‘kept’ woman or man like in Breakfast at Tiffany’s). The ‘kept’ is not owned or completely controlled, but rather has volitionally decided to stay in the situation.
So it is with bees. We do not own them, nor can we control them. We provide a suitable place for them to build their comb and protect them from harm as best we can and in return they give us their honey. They can leave at any time (and sometimes do) but mostly they stay as the relationship is mutually beneficial.
12/14/2016
Christmas Basket Letter
I am writing this before Thanksgiving. That’s important because I have a strict “no Christmas before Thanksgiving” policy. So rigid is this rule in my home that in retaliation my family requires that I participate in getting out and putting up every single Christmas decoration on Friday the day after Thanksgiving. Call us dysfunctional, but it works for us. However, once the turkey is eaten I am all in. I love Christmas, but it wouldn’t be Christmas without the Grinch.
If you are not familiar with The Grinch, let me give you the important points.
The Grinch was perceived by everyone in Whoville as an evil person. Some of the terms of endearment used to describe him included, “cuddly as a cactus, and charming as an eel.” He set about to keep Christmas from coming by stealing all the Who’s presents and food in an amazingly complex and, most likely, physically impossible Christmas eve raid.
As dawn broke, he eagerly waited to hear the cries of despair from the Whos, but he was shocked when what he heard wasn’t sorrow, but joy:
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
It took a while for it to sink in but the Grinch finally realizes:
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
He’s right. Christmas is more than the gifts we give and get. The joy we feel is about love and community and redemption. Once that is in us, we can’t help but give it to others. In the Grinch’s case, his heart changes and he does a 180 and went from hating Christmas to carving the roast beast for the Christmas dinner.
We don’t celebrate Christmas to give gifts. We give gifts as a reflection or symbol of the gift we’ve been given. So what you have in this basket is a reminder of the true meaning of Christmas. The reality of our story is that we are the Grinch and we have no joy and no community until our hearts are changed. Christmas is the celebration of the good news that Jesus came into the world to save me from that joyless and lonely life. His life, death and resurrection made it possible for me to experience love and joy in this life and then for eternity with him.
So as we bustle and hustle around this Christmas, I hope we will remember why we are celebrating and what the gifts we give and receive are supposed to reflect. Christmas doesn’t come from a store, it comes from our hearts.
12/12/2016
Equals
In the movie “Equals”, we find ourselves in a dystopian future devoid of human emotion. Everyone is the same. Every one is equal. Except there is a problem. Some people are experiencing emotions. They are “diagnosed” with SOS (Switched On Syndrome) and quarantined until they kill themselves from despair.
In this future, equality is actualized as a lowest common denominator.
In 1943, C. S. Lewis wrote about Equality and Democracy in an essay title “Equality”. http://archive.spectator.co.uk/article/27th-august-1943/8/equality
Please read the essay then come back here. I’ll wait….
I understand that Lewis was addressing the nature of equality in general but then goes on to apply it specifically to women and men and even more specifically to the marriage relationship. However, let’s explore a couple of Lewis’ points as they apply “equally” well to various other relationships.
Mankind is so fallen that no man can be trusted with unchecked power over his fellows.
This is, for Lewis, a lead in to the next point, but I feel we can pause here and consider that this is similar to the concept of “absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Except here Lewis has found the root of the problem, not in the power, but in the already absolute corruption that exists in man.
I need to remember that I am prone to behave like a fallen and depraved man. Giving a madman the switch to a nuke is a really bad idea. So keeping in mind that I am a madman and being sure that I stay well covered with accountability and checks is not just for my safety, but for all those around me. If you are a leader the importance of this is multiplied many times.
Legal and economic equality are absolutely necessary remedies for the Fall, and protection against cruelty.
That all people are created equal in the eyes of God should be simple and self-evident, but obviously it is not. At Kimray we are all valued as people for the same reason—God made us and gave us life—and at the same level. I am not a better or more valuable person because of my title, or position, or paycheck than any other person at Kimray. We should not tolerate racism, sexism, religious persecution or any other method or mode that dehumanizes another person.
However, there is the necessity of differentiating people for the purposes of organization and responsibility. There are types and kinds of “superiority” that are necessary and good. Which leads to the last point I want to look at.
When equality is treated not as a medicine or a safety-gadget but as an ideal we begin to breed that stunted and envious sort of mind which hates all superiority.
To think that all people should be treated equally in all things is “the special disease of democracy” which will “kill us all if it grows unchecked.” The man who won’t work might be given enough to sustain him, but should not enjoy the same fruits as the one who will. There are lots of ways this corollary can be described and displayed. In short, it is not ok to evenly distribute to results of the team effort unless everyone is bringing the same resources to the table and executing the same as the others
At Kimray some general reward comes to all who are part of the team. Those team members who excel due to their skill, gifting and effort may get opportunities and rewards not available to every person.
What is the cure to this “envious sort of mind which hates all superiority”?
Humility. Gratitude. Respect.
It’s simple really. Jesus said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.” (Mark 9:35) That’s really all there is to it. If I am a leader, I should be the servant of all in my heart. Yes, I must lead, and decide, and bear the weight…however:
The people who rely on my leadership should feel that I am there to serve their interests, not for glory but for the glory of God, not for gain but for their good, and finally, for love.
That’s what Jesus did.
It just so happens….that’s the Kimray way.
12/05/2016
Bedlam: a place, scene, or state of uproar and confusion
First, congratulations to those of you who earned a degree from the University of Oklahoma. Your alma mater played well and deserves to be the big 12 Champion. Perine taking a knee on the one-yard line was a classy move.
The word Bedlam originated around 1529 and was first used as the popular name for the Hospital of St. Mary of Bethlehem, London, an insane asylum. Bedlam is from Middle English Bedlem, meaning Bethlehem.
Insane asylums during that time were horrible places where patients were chained up in cramped, unclean and poorly ventilated rooms. It was not uncommon for those in charge of these facilities to falsify records and steal donations while depriving patients of food and basic comforts.
I can imagine what the interior of these places might be like. The smells, the dirty and unkempt conditions, the noise of those with mental illnesses crying out in pain and confusion. It would be daunting.
As we learned more about mental illness we began to understand that these people were sick and could be treated, not just kept like animals. Philippe Pinel was instrumental in the transformation of bedlams from filthy hellholes to well-ordered, humane institutions. However, this transformation required someone to see past the outward manifestations of the illness. It required someone to see the people in these asylums as human beings.
Often when I am faced with someone acting in a way or saying something I don’t understand (or like), it is tempting to react by “containing” them mentally and emotionally, and in a way, making them less than human. It makes it easier to rationalize dehumanizing someone if I am in a group of other people who also marginalize the same people.
This is why mobs of people can do terrible things. It is why genteel societies can morph into genocidal monsters. It is why a football stadium can be a scary place if you’re rooting for the visiting team. And it can make going to school or coming to work unbearable if you don’t feel safe, accepted or cared for.
In the same way I marginalize people who don’t match my view of “normal” or whom I want to control, I also tend to marginalize God when I want Him to be more manageable or “fit” into the box I want Him in.
If I place my treatment of others (or of God) on a continuum with “Mattering” on one end and “Marginalizing” on the other end, I can choose to be honest with myself about the way I relate. Moving myself toward the “Mattering” side requires empathy, humility and selflessness.
When I “Matter” to someone, I generally feel like, “part of the team,” or “included,” or “that my opinion (and/or feelings) count.”
When I’m being “Marginalized” by someone, I generally feel, “excluded”, “not part of the common goals”, and “unnoticed.”
Here’s the thing: we don’t have to change the world. We just have to make the world safer for one person at a time. My challenge everyday is to be alert and acknowledge when I’m marginalizing someone and then change that to mattering. There is a tangible effect to this. They say “Hurting people, hurt people.” It is also true that people that experience “mattering” are likely to treat others like they matter.
The most I will ever matter to anyone else is how much I matter to God. In twenty days we will celebrate the birth of Jesus. God’s most tangible demonstration of how much I matter is that He sent His son to earth to die for me. Wow.
I would like to tell you that you matter that much to me, but I am not capable of being that selfless. However, you matter to me very much. I will continue to try to demonstrate that in ways that help you feel like you matter.
11/27/2016
Listening
Several times in the past couple of weeks the subject of listening has come up.
One was in a meeting where a colleague shared how listening to the concerns of other stakeholders in a process is vital to them being willing to join the effort, and had an equal benefit of bringing a lot of good ideas forward.
Another one (ok, it was a few, or several, or a lot) was with my own family where it was evident that someone needed to be heard (that’s what it feels like to someone when you really listen) rather than fixed or told what to do.
And yet another was an article I read about being a good listener: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/nov/25/how-to-be-a-good-listener-the-experts-guide
And this TED Talk about how to hear better: https://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_5_ways_to_listen_better
(which if you don’t want to listen to, you can read…)
So I find myself thinking about my own listening skill level. Yes, I called it a skill. Unlike strength, athletic ability, or any particular type of mental acuity, everyone can be a good listener.
I am struggling to be a better listener. Unfortunately, I haven’t been practicing very long. I spent most of my first 48 years listening to respond rather than to understand. My journey over these last few years has made listening understand much more important to me, but I still have to be intentional about it and I know I fail often.
However, it turns out I don’t have to be naturally empathetic, or particularly educated, or even need to like the other person to be a good listener. I just have to shut up long enough to hear what the other person is saying.
I know, we tell our children not to tell people to shut up. But that’s exactly what we need to tell ourselves sometimes. Shut up. And I don’t just need to shut up externally, I need to shut up that voice in my head that is telling me what to say next, or convincing me the other person is wrong or mistaken, or is reminding me of that project I need to get back to or the phone call I need to make.
Until we can shut up and focus on the other person, we aren’t really listening. And because we are going to hear what they say through our own filters that may or may not apply, we need to ask clarifying questions like, “I heard you say that you are feeling overwhelmed by this process. Is that true?” Or, “I am not sure I understand what you mean when you say John is “hard to take”, could you be more specific?”
You might have heard the joke about the father and young son riding in the car one Saturday morning. Out of the clear blue the son asks, “Dad, where did I come from?” The father has expected this question to come up at some point, but like most of us, is not fully prepared to handle it right now, so he tries to give a high level answer in hopes it will satisfy the boy: “Son,” he says, “when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much they want to share that love with someone else, so they have a special time together and then a baby is born. Your mom and I love each other, and we love you too.” Feeling pretty good about his improv response he looks to the boy to see how he is reacting. The boy turns to him and says, “I know you and mom love me, but Jimmy says he’s from Chicago and I just wondered where I’m from.”
Funny, but there is an important moral to this story. When we listen to answer, we often miss the real question. Likewise, when we listen to fix or solve, we often miss the real issue, or thought, or concern, or struggle.
Listening to others makes us better at community.
Listening to God makes us better at life.
Jesus had a practice of getting up early in the morning and going off alone to pray. He got away from the distractions and noise, and from the scriptures, I get the sense that he listened more than he talked.
For most of my life I didn’t understand how to listen to God. I never heard an audible voice that I could claim was God. No angels ever visited me to give me a message from the Lord. I can’t recall seeing or speaking to a prophet. So how could I possibly “hear” God.
I used to study the bible to be able to tell other people what it said. I read it to create a data base of facts I could use in discourse. I “knew” a lot about the bible, but didn’t really understand much at all. I wasn’t listening.
Now I practice listening to the bible. Trying to hear what it is saying rather than thinking about what I can do with that information and letting it point out where I still need to grow and change.
I think listening to God and listening to people are very much the same. I need to shut up and hear what is being said, not what I want to hear. I need to understand what is meant, not what I would like the meaning to be. I need to allow what I hear to change me, not try to change who I hear.
If you have something to say, I’m listening.
11/21/2016
Mindfulness
I’m not going to attempt to address the issues, methods, theories or oddities of the 2016 Presidential Election. I thought maybe I would, but the more I read and the more I think, the more certain I am that I am wrong. While I don’t mind being wrong, I would rather not write it down.
What I would like to talk about is what I didn’t see very much of as the election unfolded. Mindfulness.
I’m not talking about eastern meditation. I’m talking about the ability to acknowledge your feelings and emotions, pause long enough to process them, then choose a measured response from a place of stability and authenticity. Controlling your responses instead of your emotions controlling you. Basically, self-control.
Self-control is rejecting wrong desires and doing what is right. We will come back to that…
Acceptance and commitment therapy, (ACT, a form of psychotherapy often used to treat anxiety disorders, depression, and addiction) assumes that the psychological processes of a normal human mind are often destructive. The core conception of ACT is that psychological suffering is usually caused by experiential avoidance, cognitive entanglement, and resulting psychological rigidity that leads to a failure to take needed behavioral steps in accord with core values. Put in simpler terms, when our thoughts and feelings become what is true about us we will try to avoid painful or difficult things by quickly reacting in judgmental and rigid ways to our experiences. This works in the short term, but in the long term keeps us from moving toward goals based our core values.
Act is the practice of Accepting my emotions and being present, Choosing a valued direction and Taking action.
This is what we are trying to accomplish with a child when we put them in “time-out” or give someone time to “cool off.” We are preventing them from acting on their emotions while giving them time for those emotions to pass through, at which point they may be able to choose to act from their values instead of raw emotion.
Somewhere along the line we quit valuing this practice, this character quality, in people. Over time we have become tolerant of people acting out of their raw emotions. We hesitate to call others on this behavior because others will say we are invalidating someone’s emotions, or we have no right to judge their feelings.
It is true that we should not invalidate another person’s feelings (emotions.) It is also inappropriate for us to judge another person’s feelings. There is a singularly unique combination of life experience and circumstance that brings each person to the present moment and this journey has enormous impact on how we feel. Emotions are amoral. They are not good or bad, right or wrong, they just exist in us. They come and go. We have little control over them, yet they often have significant control over us. Each of us owes the others the right to have our feelings and not be judged.
However, having the expectation that in community we will control the response we have to those emotions is appropriate. The ability to do this is self-control, mindfulness, authenticity.
I told you we would get back to self-control. I would like to adjust the definition a little. Let’s say that self-control is rejecting our initial emotion driven desires until we can choose to do what is congruent with our core values.
Interestingly, we have no problem expecting that addicts control their behaviors. We ask the addict to stop using their drug of choice and become “sober.” But the addict is faced with the same problems each of us are faced with: fear, uncertainty, pain, confusion, and disillusionment, just to name a few. The addict reacts with urgency to reject the things that hurt and numb the pain. The need to avoid reality is so strong it overrides the ability to think or act rationally.
Sober is a form of self-control. However, self-control as a lifestyle is more than just managing not to do something. Truly being “in recovery” means the addict has developed a new method for staying present, addressing the pain and difficulties that life brings and responding in alignment with healthy core values.
The behaviors present in so much of the discourse around the election look a lot like addiction to me. Blame shifting, projecting anger and fear, pacifying immediate urges with destructive behavior that numbs the emotions—all tried and true addict manuevers.
So what is the solution? If our national culture is looking like a bunch of addicts, then maybe we should look to how addicts become individuals in recovery. It usually takes a significant crisis to make the addictive behavior no longer sustainable. Then if the addict seeks help, he/she may find a community of people who will share their experience and model an imperfect life of imperfect but sustainable peace. The active addict sees in the recovering addict something they want and they are willing to walk the same path to get it.
So what will people see when they look at Kimray? Will they see a community where we value and honor diversity of experience, thought and viewpoint while we hold one another accountable for our actions? Will they see a community characterized by civil discourse made possible by the practice of awareness, openness, interest, and receptiveness? Will they see people who love each other enough to forgive and enough to say the hardest things?
I think they will.
11/14/2016
Change
I would love to write about the election—what it may mean to me, but more importantly what it feels like to other people. It’s too soon. I’m not sure anyone knows what happens next. I know I don’t.
I am sure that our mandate to love hasn’t changed. Maybe that’s all that needs to be said for now.
So let’s talk about something slightly less controversial and emotion charged (but only slightly less…)
Change.
More specifically, changing things that were “built around systems designed to respond to the social structures and technologies of the industrial age” and “ought to be fundamentally rethought for the one we live in now,” according to Tim Brown, CEO of IDEO.
He goes on make the first of two points I find compelling in this article:
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/11/13/magazine/design-issue-redesign-craze.html
First: “we’ve potentially never been in a period of history where there are so many things that are no longer fit for purpose.”
Second: “progress may entail change, change does not necessarily guarantee progress.”
One of the amazing and irreplaceable blessings of Kimray’s heritage is a reputation for product excellence built on a catalog of amazing and innovative products.
The very real and present danger of that same heritage is that ALL OF OUR PRODUCTS are on track to be “no longer fit for purpose.” That’s right, all of them. I don’t have a crystal ball and I haven’t been given a specific vision of the future where I see the details of our products failures. I simply look at history and notice that nothing stands still and the things we are using and seeing today don’t look much like what we used and saw “yesterday.” This tells me the same thing will/is happening to our products.
In the New York Times Magazine article there are several stories of product or brand redesign that made perfect sense, yet were rejected by the very people the redesign would have served. How can that be? How can people not accept change that makes things better?
Change is scary. Change is unnerving. Change hurts. That’s why we don’t change. That’s why when presented with a potential future that is different but better we sometimes turn away. We struggle because we attach so much of our identity and present happiness to what we know and can touch. It is sometimes impossible to let it go for something obviously better.
How do we avoid this at Kimray?
First, we must PRACTICE change. In many ways, change is like other disciplines. We can get better at it if we practice it. I think we have made a great start in this regard. So much is different now. We are on our way to being fit for change.
Next, we need to know WHAT TO CHANGE. Like Tim Brown said, “change does not necessarily guarantee progress.” Being open to outside influence, listening to our customers, listening to experts in other industries and in general looking for positive input anywhere we can find it, can vastly improve our chances to recognize the things that are ripe for change and weed out the redecorating type of change.
Finally, we have to be humble. The greatest hindrance to positive and beneficial change is the notion that we are already right, already the best, already ahead. We are not. At every moment we are only one moment away from being passed by someone with less history, less knowledge, less resources…and less to lose.
In Jesus’ day the world was full of people who had much to lose and thought they possessed the keys to success. Jesus bypassed them and went straight to those who had been humbled by their circumstances and the world around them. They had nothing to lose, but more importantly, they were unfettered by the belief that they knew how to win. They were losing and they knew it. So given the chance to choose a new future, they readily gave up the worthless temporal existence they had, and chose a fantastic eternal one.
The cosmic joke was that EVERYONE was LOSING. The religious leaders and successful people of the day were in just as much trouble as the poor and uneducated, they were just too blind to see it. I don’t want to be that way. I don’t want Kimray to be that way either.
Let’s not let history paint Kimray as the industry equivalent of the Pharisees. We can put our past success in it’s appropriate place—something to be very proud of, not something to count on for the future.
I know there is a future for Kimray that is full of promise and wonder and amazing things. I know we are capable of change and innovation and fantastic opportunities.
If we remain humble and willing to change, we will make that future a reality.
11/07/2016
Compassionate Society
I encourage you to vote. I hope you will encourage those around you to vote. Our system of governance is based on the fundamental right of the people to advocate for what’s important to us. The government we have and the policies they enact are a reflection of our cultural choices (whether by commission or omission.) Voting makes a difference.
Having said that, I ran across a very interesting essay by the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, who is the spiritual leader of Tibet: http://nyti.ms/2ektOTj
He asks why we see such anger and great discontent in some of the world’s richest nations. His answer is that “we all need to be needed…and there is a growing number of people who feel they are no longer useful, no longer needed, no longer one with their societies.”
He goes on to talk about the difficulty in creating a society that resolves these issues. A society that “creates a wealth of opportunities for meaningful work.” A society that “provides children with education and training that enriches their lives.” A society that “protects the vulnerable while ensuring that policies do not trap people in misery and dependence.”
He calls this a “compassionate society.”
Creating opportunity. Providing training and meaningful work. Enriching lives. Protecting each other. Fostering healthy interdependence. These are things we purpose to do at Kimray. Often we do them well. Sometimes not so well.
Maybe a truly compassionate society is one with a culture of love.
Jesus said that our greatest responsibility was to love God, next was to love others. That’s it. Simply. Clean. Straight forward. Uncomplicated.
Impossible.
The reason our culture is broken is that its a reflection of broken people. We are not a compassionate society because we are not compassionate people. On our own and left to our “natural” inclinations we turn selfish, brutish, hateful and evil. Without God there can be no true love.
If Kimray is going to be a compassionate society or culture, the basis has to be that we love God. God said that if we loved Him we would obey him. Core Value: Honor God in all we do. Translation: Obey God in all we do.
If we love God THEN and only then can we love others, protect families, care for the creation God entrusted to us and reflect the image of God to those around us (hint: those are the other 3 core values.)
At Kimray we have the amazing opportunity to live in alignment with the most compelling narrative of history. We can actually create and maintain a compassionate society right here in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, USA, Planet Earth. Not sometime in the future, not is some other place yet to come into existence. Here. Now.
A Buddhist leader knows what the world needs. Everyone knows what the world needs. We don’t need to explain it, we need to demonstrate it.
I appreciate each of you for the unique way you demonstrate God’s love to each other and to those you serve. You make Kimray a compassionate place to work. You make a difference.
10/31/2016
Fix It
My mom shared a quote by Brene Brown, with me yesterday:
“We pretend that what we do doesn’t have an effect on people. We do that in our personal lives. We do that corporate — whether it’s a bailout, an oil spill… a recall. We pretend like what we’re doing doesn’t have a huge impact on other people. I would say to companies, this is not our first rodeo, people. We just need you to be authentic and real and say … ‘We’re sorry. We’ll fix it.”
We make mistakes, personally, corporately, so why is it so hard to say, “I was wrong.” Why is it so difficult to imagine what it would feel like to be the other person?
Empathy is critical to human relationship, and relationship is at the core of what we are talking about when we say “The Kimray Way.” Fostering and developing our ability to get into the space and feelings of another person is mission critical to being able to make a difference in other people’s lives.
Kimray is recalling a product right now. We made a mistake. We let a non-conforming part through and put it into product and shipped it to our customers. Now there are products in the field that do not meet our standards or the expectations of our customers. Have we said, “We are sorry.” Have we thought about how much of a pain it will be for our customers to replace this part in all the potentially affected products? How will this effect the people who use and rely on our product?
Kimray is unable to deliver product in the time frame our customers need. We failed to anticipate the increase in business and prepare for it. Now our customers are struggling to meet their customers needs. We ask for their loyalty and we say they shouldn’t buy our competitors products, but then we fail to serve them. Do we really understand how this impacts them? How would we respond to a vendor that treated us this way?
The issue is not that we make mistakes. The issue is whether we own our mistakes and whether we fix them. It is about honesty, empathy and responsibility. We need to learn to say, “I’m sorry, I’ll fix it,” and mean it.
That’s the Kimray Way.
10/24/2016
Love & Peace
“What good is love and peace on earth?
When it’s exclusive?
Where’s the truth in the written word?
If no one reads it
A new day dawning
Comes without warning
So don’t blink twice
We live in troubled times”
This is a lyric from the song “Troubled Times” on the new Green Day album.
Two things come to my mind and heart when I hear this song:
First, in Romans, Paul tells us that since the beginning of time God’s qualities (one of them being truth) have been obviously evident in all the things that are around us, including other people. The amazing thing about truth is its resiliency. It is like matter. It comes to us in different forms, but it cannot be destroyed or done away with. Truth is everywhere (even in Green Day songs, much to the distress of my mother) if I am willing to see it and if I am sensitive to the Spirit of God (which is where the ability to see the truth lives in me.)
Billie Joe Armstrong (lead singer for Green Day) is not a theologian. I doubt he is a Christ follower in even the loosest sense. But what may be known about God is as plain to Billie Joe as it is to anyone. When he writes songs about what he sees wrong with the world he can’t help but allude to the truth, because it is what he and all the rest of us were made for.
Second, this lyric makes me cry if I think about it very much. The angel said to the shepherds, “I bring you good news that will cause great joy.” They sang about God’s glory and peace on earth. After the shepherds had seen Jesus the bible says “they spread the word” about what they had seen and heard. Coming into contact with the savior, even as an infant, was something they couldn’t keep to themselves.
Later in Jesus’ life his focus on the marginalized and lost was obvious. He was pretty hard on the “good” people who excluded the “bad” people. He gave love and grace and mercy to anyone who sought him, and they didn’t have to drive across town. He went to where they were. He ate with them, walked with them, and drank from wells with them.
God has given me so much grace and mercy. Why am I so stingy with it?
What good is God’s love and the peace that it can bring to hurting and broken people if I keep it to myself.
I know the truth is there for anyone to see, and maybe they should pick up a bible and read it, but do they see that truth written on my life and in my actions?
We do live in troubled times. Everyone is looking for love and peace, they are just looking in the wrong places and they aren’t sure what it looks like. We know what love and peace look like and we know where it is. Why are we hiding it?
10/17/2016
Apology
I came across an interesting article, https://medium.com/@jelenawoehr/yom-kippur-donald-trump-and-apologizing-like-you-really-mean-it-75320f3211df#.xtfww75r6
To quote from the article, “If you were wronged by an observant Jew in the past year, you may have received a phone call or visit seeking forgiveness. This is because during the Days of Awe — the ten days beginning with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur — Jews practice t’shuvah, meaning repentance, a term closely related to the Hebrew word for ‘to return.’”
The article goes on to call out the differences between true repentance and the type of apology that follows it, and the false public apologies that are becoming so common as our leaders and celebrities fail in their public and private lives.
We are going to mess things up. Messing things up causes damage to the people around us. We don’t always intend to hurt those around us, but sometimes we do. Once done, the damage cannot be undone.
So what am I to do?
Repent (I turn around). Apologize (I verbally acknowledge the impact on others). Make amends (I do what I can to repair the damage).
Sounds simple, but it is incredibly difficult because it forces me to accept responsibility for what I did and look at the damage from another person’s viewpoint.
Steps 4-9 of the 12 Steps are about this process. That’s half. Half of the process of recovery is about acknowledging how my actions and attitudes damage others and then making amends. It is also important to notice that neither t’shuvah nor the recovery steps place any burden or responsibility on the other person. My process is independent of the other person’s actions or reactions. I think that is the hardest part.
I tend to want some amount of justification for what I did. I want the other person to be sorry for what they did to me that “caused” me to do what I did. I want the other person to be impressed that I apologized and I certainly want them to “forgive and forget.” I want the other person to accept my amends, offered on my terms, and be happy about it.
Repentance and amends are mine. They impact me and affect who I am. In Matthew 5, Jesus says, “…if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
I cannot be responsible for how another person receives my apology or my amends. That doesn’t remove the responsibility to repent and make whatever amends I can. I need to keep my side of the street clean, and that is enough to keep me pretty busy.
10/10/2016
Legacy and Innovation
I read an article called “How to Stand on Shoulders” ( https://getpocket.com/a/read/1437178321 ) which is about coding actually, but it got me thinking. The author used the term “Not Invented Here.” Not Invented Here Syndrome (NIHS) is a mindset or corporate culture that favors internally-developed products over externally-developed products, even when the external solution is superior. (read here if you like dry white papers about the science behind these theories http://macroconnections.media.mit.edu/share/NotInventedHere.pdf . It’s about 20 pages long and even has charts and tables!)
If you replace the word “products” in the NIHS definition with some other words, you begin to see how it can infect so many areas of our lives and work.
Favoring internally-developed production methods keeps us tied to old ways of doing things even when other people have discovered and developed better ways.
Favoring internally-developed compensation structures prevents us from providing opportunity and incentive to our best people, and keeps us from attracting the best people to Kimray.
Favoring internally-developed management ideologies prevents us from benefitting from the successes (and failures) of other companies who have overcome many of the same things we face today.
The cure for NIHS is called “open innovation” and requires us to actively look for the best ideas, methods and systems no matter where they are. As importantly, we have to look in places and to people who do not look just like us. Kimray actually has some really cool DNA that matches this ideology. When Garman got involved in the medical world helping doctors resolve the life threatening issues their patients faced, he brought oil field engineering experience to bear. When Dr. Greenfield needed a way to capture blood clots in the leg without completely occluding the vein, he asked Garman if he could help. Garman immediately saw that the cone filters routinely used in fluid systems would work in the “pipes” of the body also, and the Greenfield-Kimmell Vena Cava Filter was born.
As we push towards our vision of a diversified company, we will have to fully embrace open innovation. We don’t have time to recreate the foundational elements that are already in existence. We need to find the best ideas and adapt them to our needs. We need to acknowledge that we are not the experts in many areas (maybe even in our own fields) and there is so much we can learn from others.
I find this is true in my personal life too. Keeping myself open to the input of others and to having my “normal” challenged is actually healthy for me. Otherwise I get stuck in a loop where my thoughts and ideas are reinforced by what I choose to read and hear which are filtered by my own thoughts and ideas. Round and round I go.
Why do people choose to stay bound by their own “normal”? It’s comfortable. Also, there is a fear that we will “throw the baby out with the bath water.” Which could happen. So how do we stay open and look for the best ideas and yet “keep the baby?”
The problem is defining what the “baby” is. At Kimray, the baby is The Kimray Way. The Kimray way is NOT about the machines we buy, or the tools we use, or the process we create. The Kimray Way is the REASON we do what we do. It is our Mission, our core values, and our culture. Everything else is bath water.
In the time of Jesus, the religious leaders had become completely focused on the “bathwater.” They were obsessed with following a series of rules, processes if you will, and allowed no deviation or questioning. Unfortunately, the rules were supposed to serve a much higher and larger purpose. They failed to see that purpose (love God and love others) and therefore missed it most of the time. More importantly, when someone came along who knew what the bigger picture was, (ok, he WAS the bigger picture) they failed to recognize him and eventually killed him because he didn’t fit into their view.
As a human I have to be on guard against my tendencies to want to be right and to be the one creating things. If I hold things to closely, I will most likely miss the point altogether.
10/03/2016
Losing
I read this really great essay by Bonnie Priebel Blaylock: https://getpocket.com/a/read/1432577576
Toward the end she says, “If I’m holding with white knuckles to those things I’ve lost, or am afraid of losing, my hands are too full to accept all the other great gifts waiting for me.”
I have lost a lot in my life. Not so much as others, but still a lot. In 2012 I almost lost everything including my career (which at the time was my identity as well as my livelihood.) Those were very dark days.
I’m still learning from that experience. It is said that a difficulty will leave us when we have learned the lesson it came to teach. And so I am still learning.
Recently we had to make a difficult decision regarding the Martin Bionics acquisition. As I look back on that process it is obvious that I held on to that vision for too long. I wanted that company. I could see how great that product could be for Kimray. I was emotionally invested. My knuckles were white.
It finally became apparent that it was not going to work. I still agonized over that decision and it really hurt to take the deal off the table and walk away. Losing sucks. However, today we are back in discussions with Martin and he is agreeable to a much better deal (he lost something too.) Maybe it will work, maybe it won’t, but we are in a much better place either way. Sometimes losing is the path to finding.
This past nearly two years we have lost a lot as a company; stability, profitability, people we cared about, plans and much more. Losing sucks. However, we are a much leaner, smarter and better prepared team now. We found ways to save, ways to make do, and now we have the opportunity to find ways to grow again. Sometime losing is the path to finding.
Jesus said, “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” Some have literally died for Christ, but for me this daily loss of life is more about letting go of all the things I think I deserve, all the things I want, all the things that I am emotionally invested in, all the distractions. When I clutch those things tightly in my white knuckled fist they create discontent, unrest and disturbance in me. When I give those things up, God gives many of them back but more significantly He gives me contentment, serenity and peace.
We each have been made for this day and brought to this point and place for a specific reason. God is working in each of us and through all of us to accomplish His will. What we do, how we respond and the decisions we make are important. However, we are not in possession of the outcome no matter how tightly we clutch at it. Sometimes losing is the path to finding, and letting go leads to the freedom to see the truth.
I pray that we hand it all over to God daily. It was always His anyway.
9/26/2016
Biased
I have been reading things lately that upset me. I’m doing it on purpose. If I only listen to the people who think like me, act like me and look like me I will not be challenged. It is not that people that are not like me are right, or wrong, they have a different perspective.
Perspective. Mine is unavoidably biased. I am male, white, wealthy (by every global standard), healthy (which by the way is closely correlated to being a wealthy white male), married, educated (in wealthy predominately white schools), Christian, western in thought and religious tradition, and many more things that are reflected in the way I see and interact with the people around me.
In an essay (https://getpocket.com/a/read/1425360655) Meg Barclay writes,
“Order, you say, must be restored.
Whose order? Nature’s or man’s?”
I substitute “God” for nature in that quote and it causes me to ask: when I talk about “order” (another way to say things being the way I think they should be) am I unavoidably talking about the order that matches my bias rather than the order that aligns with God?
This problem exists whether I am dealing with my family, a business decision, or the social issues that we inevitably wrestle with continuously. This problem of bias is the root of the problem of man. St. Augustine called it “Incurvatus in se” which is Latin for “curved in on itself.” I am by nature (fallen and sinful nature that is) selfish. I want the world to serve me, and to serve me best it needs to look and smell and taste the way I think it should.
As I follow Christ I believe I will become less “biased.” Less judgmental. Less racist. Less western. Less white. I will become less and Christ will become more.
My fallen nature, and the ugly flag of bias it waves, will be replaced with love that accepts every person as someone made intentionally and specifically by a loving God. Someone who, just like me, makes mistakes and has an imperfect and biased view of themselves and others. Someone who not only needs grace as much as I do, but to whom the same grace is freely offered. Someone who, if I believe Jesus and claim to follow him, I am commanded to love, but more importantly, should WANT to love.